featuring technology tips and music recommendations with a personal touch

In in my last post about perfectionism, I’ve ended up posing a question: what makes an accomplished perfectionist? In other words, how does one balance the act of accomplishment with a strive for perfection? It’s a pretty thin line if you ask me, and in this post, I’m going to shed light on some of the techniques you can use to achieve that.

Accomplished perfectionism is the fusion of two separate genes: those that empower a person to get things done as quickly and efficiently as possible, and those that compels him or her to do their best possible job on these things.

To illustrate, take a look at the following phrases which are more likely to be said or thought by a carrier of each of these two genes:

Click here to continue reading →

Are you a perfectionist? You know, are you the type of person who seeks completeness and flawlessness in every project and every single task you do? Do you obsess about the smallest of details, often times to the point of exhaustion? And does that often lead you to miss important deadlines, because “good” is simply just not “good enough”, at least for you?

If you’re anything like me, then you’ll resonate with symptoms of what’s called perfectionism. Being a perfectionist at work and college is something I’ve been very proud of, despite not being fully aware of it. Everybody I came to deal with including my boss and colleagues was impressed by the level of sophistication and professionalism I’d go about completing my tasks.

This, of course, also had its toll on me most of time. Long working hours in the office (by choice) trying to get that deliverable up to my standards and still meeting that deadline was the norm for me.

Then a couple of days ago I came across an article that was like a revelation. It made me realize that now I’m at this point in my career life where I have to make serious changes to my work habits if I want to be an accomplished person. This post is me trying to analyze that change and hopefully helping fellow perfectionists along the way.

I’m pretty sure you are probably wondering now: why is being a perfectionist something you would want to change? How does it ruin one’s professional life? Doesn’t it make you, I don’t know.. better than the others?

If you think about it (or have experienced it yourself) then you’d probably agree with me on this: perfectionism can get in the way of accomplishment. Well, at least a certain kind of perfectionism.

Click here to continue reading →

I realized something a couple of days ago by reading an article that came as a sort of a wake-up call for me: being productive doesn’t necessarily make you an accomplished person!

I will elaborate on that so it makes little more sense to you:

There’s a common phrase I use quite often (especially at work) to describe the thing where you pretend to do something by acting as if you were really doing it, but never actually getting it done. It’s called going through the motions.

It amazes me how often we find ourselves inadvertently going through the motions of achieving things, doing everything we know we’re supposed or told to do, but eventually not reaching the finish line, or reaching it a bit too late.

I wasn’t aware of how guilty I am of this until I started my current job a couple of years ago and started to learn about the environment and work culture. Two years down the road, I’ve realized that what we actually do here at the company is far from trying to get projects done. We obsess very little about end results and a lot more about methodologies, frameworks, work policies, clearing our responsibilities and basically just getting the ball on to the other side.

Make no mistake, we do like to feel accomplished, and we’re actually getting paid to do so. But we’re lousy at that, and you know why? Because we think that by going through the motions of working on various projects, clearing many seemingly important tasks, being all productive and punctual, we’re bound to drive projects to the finish line. The only problem is, we usually don’t. Our projects carry on for years (I’m not exaggerating!). So what is it we’re doing wrong? Or to put it in a more general way:

How does going through the motions of accomplishing things not help us accomplish them?

Click here to continue reading →

Facebook is a wonderful social network. I’d even go as far as saying it’s one of a kind. In less than 2 months, I’ve gone from being indifferent, to trying and hating it, to giving it a second shot and actually falling in love with it, until finally I became obsessed with it and started spreading the word about it in my social circles.

So given this newfound obsession with Facebook, how can we, if not cure it, find a way to make it worthwhile?

I had this simple idea a while ago which was: why not we actually use Facebook for what it was intended? That is, why not use Facebook to maintain and grow our relationships with the people we care about?

Click here to continue reading →

Tonight, while listening to Bloom 06's The Old Field Of Angels and hearing the words:

Take me back to that place
where you only have one face
you and your mistakes

I got to thinking: Is there really a place "where you only have one face, you and your mistakes?", so to speak.

In other words: 

Aren't we all double-faced, whether we admit it or not?

Click here to continue reading →

This is a question that has boggled me for a while, I’d say ever since graduation. My belief is that we’ve all been there: you’re going into real life, everybody is telling you what you should and should not focus on in terms of skills and knowledge. Amidst all these contradicting suggestions, and in fear that one skill won’t get you hired, you start piling up skills in wide variety of areas knowing for sure that you will find at least one position that requires one of those skills. Problem is though, you have touched the surface of so many skills that when it comes down to this single one that gets you hired, you’re pretty much the average joe. You’re definitely competent (hopefully), but you’re not quite the master. Most people can do what you can.

I guess that’s where the phrase “Jack of all trades, master of none” comes from. It describes a “person who is competent with many skills but is not very good with any one particular skill”. Sometimes known as a “polymath“, Leonardo Da Vinci (pictured on the left) is seen as the one of the greatest painters of all time, and the man with the most diversely prodigious talent ever to have lived. Hey, the man is a scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, painter, sculptor, architect, musician, and writer. Wow! Talk about a jack of all trades!

Now, while we know that having that much knowledge will definitely get you laid at some point, can you really do what this man did, metaphorically? I mean, is it possible for an average human being to know so much about so many things and still maintain acceptable level of human sanity? (ok you caught me, any man who grows this much hair isn’t sane in my book, maybe it was a different time, but I stand corrected!)
Click here to continue reading →

The thoughts in this post are inspired by an eye-opening incident that happened recently to a person close to me which could have potentially ruined his life, but thankfully it didn’t go through. However, it was clear to him afterwards that he needed to take a different approach to his life, particularly, a one that caters more for the blessings around him and less for taking these blessings for granted.

While researching this subject, I wanted to find out exactly whether there’s a hardwiring in human genetics that makes them appreciate blissful things less as time goes by. Dr. David Brandt, author of Is That All There Is?: Balancing Expectation and Disappointment in Your Life, concisely explains this phenomenon:

Human beings have a curious capacity to take things for granted. The most exquisite diamond loses its luster with familiarity. The most compatible intimate becomes boring. Miracles like the daily sunrise fail to astonish because they’re commonplace! Repetition and time dull our sense of wonder.

We endow novelty with powers and attributes that it does not really possess. When a thing becomes familiar to us, the mystery we have projected onto it is lost. We see it without the overlay of our imaginings.

The irony in this idiosyncrasy of human character is that we are disappointed by the very things that used to excite us. The once new job or leisure activity is now tedious. We feel let down rather than uplifted. Disappointment is a consequence of our expectation that an object or event will continue to provide us with stimulation regardless of how constant our contact. Unless we adjust our expectations accordingly, we will continue to feel deflated.

I think what we all should agree on is the fact that this is a natural “idiosyncrasy of human character”, a one we’re all born with. The basic fact remains that we all love things when they’re new, shiny and exciting and gradually begin to lose interest as we get increasingly familiar with their effect in our lives.

The differentiating factor then becomes: to what extent do we take these things for granted, and whether or not we get the chance to realize that (and hopefully do something about it) before it’s too late?

And just to be clear, “things” here may refer to anything of materialistic, inspirational or spiritual value in our lives, even things that are out of our control like the sun we enjoy everyday and the sound of ocean waves that we love so much.

Speaking for myself, I believe that my defensive lifestyle, the one that prompts me to have low expectations of others, helps me to appreciate the good things that do come my way, and the good things that are already there. I always wonder how my life would be if I didn’t have such wonderful parents who are always around, some amazing friends who are just in it for “me”, and a God-given healthy body that gets sick too few times around the year. I don’t see these and other things as ones I’m born with or destined to have, I see them as things that other people may not have and I’m such a lucky person if I do have them.

It’s certainly not easy to always keep reminding ourselves to look out for and appreciate the blessings we take for granted. But for starters, let’s look at things we do have that others are dying for. If you have got yourself a loving wife or husband that have shown you nothing but love and care over the years you’ve been married to them, think about other people (you may or may not know) who are still struggling with dysfunctional and failed marriages and relationships. Think about how lucky you are you found the person who, for once, loves you for what you are and who you want to be. Now tell me, how often do people get to experience this wonderful feeling of intimacy to another human being. I can you tell from my own short-lived experiences, very few, if any. So tell me now, is it fair to assume that what you have is something we’re all supposed to have, or are you really that lucky to have it.

Just coming to this last realization, we start to question ourselves: well if I’m really that lucky, how can I hold on to it? What things can I do to show my gratitude and appreciation for having this blessing in my life?

Well congratulations my friend! If you really do care to ask yourself this question, then you’re on the right track. By just spotting those things that need your attention and appreciation, you can start to develop plans that aim to regularly find ways to cater for their presence in your life.

So why wait any longer? Let’s get up, look around us, and let every single good thing we’re blessed with know how much we care!

At work we have a favorite saying that says: lower your expectations and you’ll be fine!

In other words, having expectations almost always results in disappointments for us. This may be the case for us at work, but I believe this idea is universally applicable, to certain extents.

So what kind of expectations am I talking about? You know, as a matter of fact, almost everyone one of us has some sort of expectations that he/she lives by. Without them, we’d be lost. Like the child expecting his mother to love him unconditionally. Is that too much to ask? I wouldn’t say so.

But it’s when we raise the bar a little more that we hit the hard ceiling of disappointment at many times. It occurs to me that lots of times we unintentionally raise our expectations for some reason. Say for example that there’s this bonus that most companies do give out at certain times in the year. After trying out several jobs at different companies which all of them do this, you come to expect that this should be the case for pretty much every company out there, right? Well who’s to say so? Unless it’s a law to do so, we can’t go on expecting every one of them to do the same. You see, in this scenario, you have just accidentally expected something from someone which you shouldn’t have in the first place. And now you got a bump in your head from hitting that ceiling.

So what I’m trying to say is:

If we wanted to live a less stressful life, we should learn to lower our expectations from other people as much as possible. Try not to expect them to do things unless they’re bound to in which case if they don’t they would go below humanly-acceptable levels.

See where I’m getting here? Whenever someone disappoints you somehow, ask yourself: Should I have expected him/her/them to do so in the first place? What if I just didn’t and the hell with them. If they do it, that’s fine. If they didn’t, da hell with them. I don’t need them.

One’s perception can predict his own disappointment. Period.