Facebook is a wonderful social network. I’d even go as far as saying it’s one of a kind. In less than 2 months, I’ve gone from being indifferent, to trying and hating it, to giving it a second shot and actually falling in love with it, until finally I became obsessed with it and started spreading the word about it in my social circles.

So given this newfound obsession with Facebook, how can we, if not cure it, find a way to make it worthwhile?

I had this simple idea a while ago which was: why not we actually use Facebook for what it was intended? That is, why not use Facebook to maintain and grow our relationships with the people we care about?

A picture of a watering can with the word Facebook. The can is watering a house plant with the word relationships written on it.

Instead of going on a mission to show off just how many “friends” we have added (if they’re indeed real-life friends), it’s much better to take advantage of the critical mass Facebook has achieved (i.e., the number of people we know who are on Facebook) by constantly staying in touch with them through various means and features available in Facebook.

As a matter of fact, I plan on doing just that. I have about 60 friends on my Facebook. Not much, right? I don’t care! As long as they’re all friends I care about (some being more than the others), I inted to use whatever resources Facebook gives me in order to keep a healthy and steady relationships with all of them, despite the distances that now set us apart and our busy lives.

If this sounds like something you would want to do, then let me share with you 3 effective ways you and I can use Facebook to do that:

1. Everyday, do at least 1 thing to someone in your friends list to let them know you’re thinking about them.

It can be a simple poke (which is a neat little way of saying hello, i have nothing to say but hi). Or you can go all the way and send a personal message to them asking about how they’ve been, what they’re up to, etc.

Between those two, there are countless other ways (e.g., Walls, Super Wall, Graffiti) to make touchpoints with a friend in Facebook. Just remember, the more time you dedicate for a gesture, the more it will be appreciated by your friend and the better your relationship will grow as a result of that.

2. Take advantage of special occasions

A thoughtful “virtual” balloons, cake or flowers with a simple message, sent on a friend’s birthday, can do wonders to your relationship. You can use the Free Gifts application as an alternative to Facebook’s pay-per-gif module (1 dollar for a virtual gift, you must be kidding me!). The right sidebar on the home screen in your Facebook shows a list of upcoming birthdays for your friends. Never miss those!

If you’re also aware of a happy or sad occasion a friend of yours is going through, then you can leverage those as well. I’ve found that people usually post their current state of affairs on their Facebook status message, or they do that using certain Facebook applications, like Moods.

Keeping in touch on special occasions is by far the most powerful means to strengthen any relationship. If relationships were like a video game, those will get you the most “points” (like running over an old lady with a tank few times in GTA).

3. Get to know your friends a bit more

Believe it or not, Facebook can tell you a whole lot about your friends you didn’t know about in direct contact. This of course assuming that:

  1. You both have fairly completed and customized profiles.
  2. You have added applications that describe your personality, such as Likeness, and invited others to add them too.

Though not necessarily filed under “keeping in touch”, those little activities we do together, like taking personality quizzes and stuff, keep us indirectly interacting with each other, which is great for keeping the momentum of our friendship alive and kicking.

But why not just get a life, a real one!

I felt like I have to clarify this: what I’m trying to do with Facebook isn’t meant to replace going out and meeting your friends in real life and having a good time. It’s just meant to complement it.

However, in cases where that isn’t possible any more, like when we are distance apart, then the role of Facebook becomes even stronger in helping us stay in touch all the time, almost to the point where distance fades away and it feels like the fire of our relationship is burning all over again.

Conclusion

I hope I’ve been able to get you to buy the idea of using Facebook primarily for keeping your existing relationships strong and going, instead of endlessly adding new, most of the time superficial, ones.

Though we may continue to be obsessed with using Facebook, we can at least tweak this obsession to be a means to end, which is having ever-lasting strong relationships with the people we care about now, or the people who were once very close to us, but have since drifted apart.